hi im deepika n im currently studying …

im having working parents……… in my childhood i used go to “day care” im an average student compare to my siblings all of my relatives n teachers used to compare m wid my siblings n mentally torture m..

Den whn i ws 7 to 11 yrs old i had some incidences of physical harassment..
i hvnt told abt dis to parents

now my main problem is im laying to ma loved one regarding many thngs may b jst to get their attention

i honestly wnn to stop those bt each single day i decide to nt to lie bt by end of d day i hv lied frm 4 to 5 tyms n i knw tht my loved one dnt deserve it..
here r al d lies i recall:
1}lying abt ma ex tht he is bothering m
2}lying abt my niece’s matter tht she run away married to some guy n putted all blame on m n her mom also
3}lying abt one person who ws frm my past bt wsn’t in my contact bt still lied tht he is bothering m
4}lying abt one of my frd tht she putted all blame on m
5}lying abt my health problem tht im hvng body pain chest pain or smtym i ws admitted in hospital or hving costly injection treatment etc.
6}lying abt fictitious person tht she is death i ws to do dis in my childhood also
7}lying to others whn i cant say no them
8}2 or more tyms lied abt accidents n abt my nightmares also

i hv lied so much in matter regarding my ex n niece…

i jst wn to stp all of this

is der someone who cn help n tel m tht hw to stp myself frm doing sins..

i knw i hv done lots of mistkes in my life bt tht person dnt deserve all of this which i jst told…

im jst so dam pissed off on myself…

i wn my life to b most happening bt its nt happening n may b i like to hv attention of my loved one thts y i did all dis
bt its nt healthy at all

n yes i lies abt small small thngs to parents also
please help