Disturbed married life and professional life
Hi, my name is roy. I am not reveling my complete name here. But who so ever read this content may know me as roy.
Let me tell you something about my family history. I was born on a middle class family. My family comprises of my father, mother, me and my younger brother. I am 31 years of age now. During my childhood days i have only seen pain, betray, hate and poverty in my home. My father was not at all are responsible man. He only believed in drinking alchol and made our lifea hell.. He was unemployed for many years and did not even bother to get a job. My mother has seen a lot of pain, trouble, poverty and at every stage of life she lost her self-respect because of my father. He just used to drink alchol and comeback home to fight with my mom. We had no respect in the society.
One thing which was the only support for our family to run was the rent which used to come from the tennents. I was not very good in education and completed my graduation late in my life. I dont know why I never felt like studying really hard. But my loving brother was good in studies.
My mom struggled her entire life and is still struggling because of my dad. He is most irresponsible man i have ever seen. I would like to ask GOD what was my mother fault. Plz don’t send these type of people inthe earth. However, on the other had my dad is loving and is good to other people. He is very jovila kind of person and is very dear to the family since he is the youngest brother among all the sisters.
By the age of 22 when I was pursing graduation I came to delhi to look for job. I got a job at a call center for the pilot batch. All was going really well. I met good friend over here as well. Then after few months I fell in love with a girl who used to work with me in the same company and the same team.
I was so excited and an strong feeling of love and compassion was growing inside my heart. I felt like she is the only one who is made for me and wanted to marry her. We liked each other and fell in love. After a period of 2 years we told our parents that we would like to marry each other. They agreed though this was intercaste marriage. All was going well. I bought a new car as well.
My life was smooth and was like flying colors. Finally on Nov 2007 we got married. And since then my life changed.
We went for honeymoon at Manali and was a devastating honeymoon. We did not enjoyed at all. At the honeymoon we were stuck on the hills due to heavy snowfall and saw a couple DEAD due to an accident. Even they were newly maried. I got so scared that I decided to come back home.
We came back and started to live the new married life. The problem started occuring and i started feeling that my life is going to a darker side. The light which I used to see being together was now vanishing and was becoming blur…Darkness was sorrounding us and saying that our life will now be a challange.
My wife and my brother lost their jobs after a month. I was the only man who was earning. My salary was not enough to run the family. Rent, car loan and other stuffs. Slowly my health started deteorating and I started having many health issues. However, after few months my wife and my bro got a job not so good enough. My bro decided to move to other city and by god grace he is still doing well. Just that he should get married now. Left, are we two.
My worklife started changing. I could not perform well at my workplace. My manager was not happy with me and started putting me into night shift. I was not at all happy with that. Every day or two me and wife stared fighting with each other. She used to ask time from me and I could not spend time with her. I started becoming irritated person and used to abuse every one.
One day I fought with my wife so bad that I slapped her. That was the biggest black day in my life. I have never thought that this could even happen with me. The lady to whom I loved from bottom of my heart got beaten by me today. I cried so much and felt that I should die. Financial issue was also playing a big role.
After 4 months of our marriage she got pregnant and we were so confused. We did not have job at that point of time and I was the only person earning. So we decided to abort the child..That was again a biggest mistake we did. Now we are trying for a baby and God shows no mercy on us.
Life was as usual and isues came on popping up each day. We stared hating each other. I started having neumorous health issues. The worst is still to come.
This year I went abroad from my company for a project. I was so excited t go there. I had a plan that I will do well but hardluck. From day 1 something or the other started happening wrong with me. I could not focous onnwork and evey thing which I did went wrong. My manager told me that she will throw me out of the company. Let me tell you she is one of the most fucking bitch women I have ever worked with. She looks like a prostitute and her activities are also the same. I hate her from inside. The project manager is also the same. He is a bastard.
They started keeping an eye on me and provoked other two people on my team to become a spy. I tried so hard to meet the expectation of the company but could not. I have been working in this fucking org for the last 4.5 years and was completely pissed off. They promised me promotion and then stepped back. I was extremely depressed. I felt like running away and come back home. I used to call my wife and family and tell them what i was going through. Though they motivated me to stay there. I had a fight with my friend who went with me to US. But he is still a good friend of mine.
The situation became so worst that I decided not stay with this company anymore. I came back and resigned. And since then I dont have a job. I appeared for so many intv but got rejected everywhere. My wife is still working and is struggling so much.
I am moving down into depression now. I feel like killing myself and let my wife free from my boundation. Its been 4 years of my marriage and we dont have a kid. I feel like life is moving out of my hand and I cannot do anything to hold it. Everyone I see in my sorroundings are happy and growing. And I am just losing all hopes.
Tell me what should I do…Plz tell me