self-righteous and look down on those who struggled
To begin with I am one of them. I see people suffer everyday because they try to hide who they really are. what if I tell you that I am a young youth leader and I struggle. Everyday I struggle. I am a young passionate lady who loves God but also I am human. I love my boyfriend. I have always been one to speak out against any temptation and condemn the bad doing,also know as sin. However, its like what goes around comes around. ITs a fight to just do what is right. The only thing is that I don’t think I am the only one. I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE. To be honest it is quite humorous. My boyfriend and I have laid down several rules even to the point where not even a hug is acceptable!!!! IT is RIDICULOUS….It makes me laugh. I know that we can get married and that problem is solved. But that isn’t the point. Its the overcoming these moments of passion. Can we have self-control. Its a good problem but I understand the timing is not yet. I haven’t set the best example. I have always been the good girl who has always done right and strives for the best. Before, I would act so self-righteous and look down on those who struggled with this thing called, “sin”. But somehow I am grateful for this experience because I now understand. I understand people’s struggle. I have mercy. I have patience. I understand forgiveness. I have compassion. It’s not easy. Maybe this is my struggle but there are so much people hurting to overcome just like me. I”M NOT ALONE. I’m not self-righteous. I just know that I am tired of people being fake, beginning with me. I love people. And I am not just sympathetic but empathic. I feel for them because I feel too. I honestly just pray to God to help me. I just pray for God to help you too. There is a great feeling to be self-gratified in your passions. Trust me, I know. But there is something when you overcome that which tries to overcome you.
I hope to one day be able to stand before a group of people and with out shame share my struggles because we need to be real. I still believe there is hope, we’re not dead yet? right? So, there is hope. I want to walk down the aisle in my white dress expressing I have made it. It was hard. I didn’t think at times I could. I wanted to give up but I made it. Yeah, I have been stupid and allowed other things but no more. I think we can do it.